Difficult People and Self-Esteem

More often than not, leaders tend to question why do difficult co-workers behave 'difficult'.

In a cycle of conflict, one is perceived as trying to change the other. The harder the attempt, the harder the resistance a change agent will experience.

Many leaders believe that co-workers resist change because they are living in a comfort zone, because they do not see the real need for change, because of the sour relationships co-workers had with the change agent. Little did leaders realised that co-workrs resist change not because of change per se but because of the uncertainties brought along by the change. These uncertainties create fear. Co-workers resist change because they are fearful of losing their basic needs, losing their security needs, their social needs they are currently enjoying, and more importantly they fear of losing their self-esteem and self actualisation. In other words, difficult people, very often have a low self esteem.

When change is inevitable, as a result of forces from within and outside, those resisting change suffer the 'denial syndrome'. They will always point the fingers at others for causing the problems except themselves. The irony is, while one finger points at others, four are pointing at themselves.

The current political turbulence within the ruling coalition especially after the March 8 GE and the 26 August PP by-election manifests this denial syndrome. When the pressures from outside are mounting, only then will leaders restrategise. Whether they are restrategising counter attacks or reforms is something that many people are anxiously waiting to know. The uncertainties has since translated into unfavourable social, economic and financial implications.

Likewise, similar situations could also happened in corporate organisations. In the process, a lot of time, money and energy are wasted. Many people were demoralised, some burnt-out and others find alternative solutions.